Leading An Inspired Life
A year ago, I read a book by a man named Jim Rohn. That book is called Leading an Inspired Life. In this article, I'm going to share the most valuable lessons you can begin applying to your life immediately.
Don't just commit to your craft, commit to life itself; learning new concepts and skills.
My craft is writing to share information that takes you to the next level of your finances and relationships. It would have been easy for me to go deep on only one subject. However, life is itself is so inter-connected that making an informed decision requires multiple perspectives. Let me tell you a story... Once upon a time, I began working hard to improve my social skills with women. When I started this journey, my assumption (never assume) was that I needed the best pickup lines to be more interesting. It's funny to think back on this because I would go into public places, such as grocery stores and practice approaching women with these lines; the results were not good. Then, my assumption (never assume) was that I wasn't physically attractive enough since I had the "great" pickup lines. So, I began trying to change my appearance, thinking that I needed to look like an actor or athlete (I accidentally dyed my hair orange with box dye trying to be something else). I envied the Pickup artists on TV who seemed to effortlessly attract waves of women with endlessly witty lines and "peacocking." The point is that I was committing to my craft (improving myself with women) when I wasn't committing myself to LIFE. This lesson wasn't learned until I met an inside group of men who took me in, coached me, imprinted my mind with new concepts/skills, all while giving me a mantra that changed my life. I'm going to share that mantra with you here. Don't ever forget these words, because this shift will transform your life.
To attract what you want, you must first become an attractive person.
You become that attractive person by working on yourself.
Too often, we see people trying to "find" their dream person, their dream career, their dream house, their dream car, their dream life. They try to fulfill their dreams by searching from the outside, instead of growing to become their dream self from the inside; which attracts their dream life.
Since your dreams will never come without help from other people.
Remember: When building relationships with anyone ALWAYS focus all of your energy on being interested instead of interesting. You should never be the most exciting person in the room, be the person who listens, and expresses the most interest in whatever everyone else has going on.
Leave 3 treasures for the next generation: Journals, pictures, and a library.
This entire article is only page 1 of a 100+ page journal I've written. Speaking of legacy, the purpose of these articles and the journal is to be passed down to future generations; to help them avoid the traps that cost us time, happiness, and money. Imagine the value of a child who avoids all of the pitfalls that cost us years of our life, stress, sickness, money. Wouldn't any parent want that for their children? Then why do so many of them raise their children to make the same mistakes they made, their parents made, and their parents' parents made? Journal what works and what doesn't in the most critical parts of your life. Include drawings, pictures, and diagrams, along with a library of books (both physical books and e-books). Provide so much wisdom that you could send your child out into the world with nothing more than a notebook and know they'd succeed. Knowledge and understanding are the greatest assets you can give your children because those are resources that can never be taken away. Each of us is our own most significant asset in life. Let me share a story with you... I grew up in Detroit, Michigan, to a single mom and a family that was infected with addictions and dysfunction. My family had a ton of opinions to share with me about life, money, the economy, health, diet, etc... I even followed that advice for a while, and it got me exactly what they had; Nothing.
Remember: If they've never done it, they can't teach you how to do it.
We can't expect poor people to teach us how to be rich. We can't expect unhealthy people to give us health advice. We can't expect angry people to show us how to be happy and we can't expect unfulfilled people to enlighten our path to fulfillment. How do you know if a person knows something? If they've lived it, they know it.
Create a journal with pictures based on what you've lived and found to be true. Leave your legacy with a library of resources from those who have lived the life you dreamed of and helped you live that life. Pass this down to your future generations and use those resources to imprint health, wealth, and success into their minds from the beginning of their life; that way they have the blessing of doing the same for their children.
Become a student of life and your future. Your journal shows your commitment.
If you want to live a next-level life, you need to commit to it. It's not enough to say you want it, you'd like it, you wish for it, you need to commit to it. Your commitment comes from the journal you create for yourself and future generations. As I write this, the journal has taken 2 years and is still not completed. When I run out of pages in this journal, I'll get another journal and continue the process. As long as life keeps going, the journal keeps going. What do you put in the diary? The wisdom you learn as you experience life and precisely how you did what you did. You know it when you live it. When you live it, you journal it. The most important lessons involve health, mindset, relationships, wealth, spirituality, strategies, and tactics. If you've committed to yourself, prove it, and journal.
Make the most of ideas by reflecting. Go over your notes, thoughts, and your day.
Even the most disciplined minds get scattered. Have you ever been thinking about something and your brain goes down a "rabbit hole" so deep, you can't remember what you were initially thinking about? When you focus your notes and important thoughts into writing, it makes reflection much simpler because what was intangible, is now tangible. The added benefit to writing is that it promotes muscle memory and allows you to express concepts in your way. The best time to go over your notes is at the end of your day before bed. This provides the opportunity to see your growth and end your day in a positive way. As I look through my journal, I read over old writing that meant something different to me when I wrote it. When you read through your writing, you'll realize that some things don't apply to you anymore, other ideas you've outgrown, and ideas that seemed less critical have become much more vital to your present self.
Understand: You can read the same thing twice and it will have a different meaning to you based on where you are in your life. This different meaning shows your growth, progression, and maturity.
As you build a legacy journal, you can reflect on what you've written each day. Then, you can reflect on how far you've come every week, by reflecting on all of your journal entries. Then, you can repeat this for the month, by reflecting once a month on all of your writing for that month. Finally, for a weekend per year, reflect on your entire journal for that year and your goals that align with it. Can you see how this is a progression? You're progressing every day, week, month, and year. When your system is passed down to your children, they continue the progression for their entire life and pass it down to their children. You're perpetuating a system of generational knowledge and wealth. Think of this, the Rockefeller's continue to control and amass wealth. Each generation is taught the lessons of the previous generations. The Rockefeller's have created a legacy of knowledge, which began with John D. contrast this with the Vanderbilts. Cornelius Vanderbilt, like John D. Rockefeller, amassed a huge fortune, however, the Vanderbilt money is gone.
The important point: Reflecting shows your progression; it proves to yourself that you're growing and shows where you can improve.
Reflect with a spouse or friend. Reflect alone as well. Ponder, study, read, and absorb new ideas. How can you become greater?
Trips down memory lane can be purposeful and meaningful. History is best used as a tool to learn. My wife and I do this a few times a week, we sit down and get into a conversation that just flows, sometimes we don't mean to reflect, but we do. The conversation usually moves from whom we used to be, decisions we used to make, to how our decisions have evolved. We laugh at ourselves from the past and contrast lessons from our journal to the decision we made at that time. I'll give you an example, looking back over pictures from Facebook shows a completely different person from several years ago. I have this picture when my wife and I first began dating, my hair was out of control but I was wearing a suit. To me, it looked like someone dressed up that yeti from the Jack Links beef jerky commercials. At the time, I thought I was on point. Seriously, I thought I looked amazing. A year after that picture, I joined the US Army, and every picture since then has been a clean-shaven, clean-cut look. The funny thing is, at the time I was so scared to get my head shaved. Now, I love the clean, simple look of being fully shaved. Not to mention, it's much more professional. My appearance has made more money! These decisions and many others are the decisions to ponder, study, and laugh at yourself about. Open-mindedness is critical because of the new ideas that reading will expose you to. However, it wouldn't matter how much a person reads if their mind is closed to absorbing new ideas.
Gather today for your investments in tomorrow. Gather this week to invest in next week, gather this year to invest in next year.
The important lesson here is one word: Compounding. I'm reminded of a lesson that one of my mentors taught me. It goes like this: if young people knew what it feels like to be old, they would prepare themselves sooner. All of our decisions compound. Think about this, we don't go to the gym one time and get fit for life. Right? How do finances work? We put income into a vehicle that collects more income over time. Time compounds as we make decisions, for example, someone who goes to college commits their time to learn a craft. That craft comes over years of compounding study, practice, and application. Also, consider this, whenever you make an exchange with your money, you're either paying interest to yourself or you're paying interest to someone else. If I go buy a loaf of bread today, that bread is priced at a premium for the bread maker to make their profit. That premium is the interest you pay to the bread maker. On the other hand, that same money you gave to the bread maker could have been paid to yourself. In the right vehicle, you would have made the interest that the bread maker made. The point is that everything has an opportunity cost (what you give to get in any exchange). This is our opportunity for us to consciously look at ourselves before every decision and ask, will this decision move me forward or backward towards my goals? The best places to gather today to invest in tomorrow are health, finances, relationships, spirituality, and education.
How do you think creatively? Feed your mind an idea and let it wander with it.
For several years, I've been opposed to the joke interest rates that banks offer for savings accounts, I oppose the financial advisors who swear by putting your money in a mutual fund and getting the employer match and maxing out your 401(k). These all have a few things in common. Taxes, low returns, high-risk, and lack of control. Reading fosters creativity, it exposes our minds to ideas we may have never heard of, ways of thinking we never considered, statistics, and it lets us follow the path of titans. Legends in almost any industry imaginable have written books and courses on how to get their results. Let me tell you about my most recent idea. Since 2017 my wife and I have successfully lent money to over 1000 people for everything from home improvements to medical bills. It's been a very successful set of investments and we're applying the profits towards a savings vehicle that grows income and includes life insurance. For more information on that type of investment, check out the Utah-based company Paradigm Life. At the time of this writing, we live in Hawaii, we sold our car so we can use Uber and Lyft, we live in a beautiful apartment community instead of buying a home, we don't invest in mutual funds, we often get our groceries delivered, and we don't believe in the value of college educations compared to self-education. Each step of the way we have been met by resistance from others with questions such as, "why do you live in Hawaii when you can live cheaper somewhere else?" or "Why would you ever sell your car and only Uber?" or "Why do you live in an apartment? You're going to buy a house right? You're throwing away money by renting!" or "Don't lose your employer match! Max your 401(k)!" or "How come you get your groceries delivered? You can save money and do it yourself." and of course "Get more education, so you can get a better job and more benefits!" Everything we don't want in our life we overcome with creativity. Did you know you can set up an investment vehicle to take loans from yourself, tax-free, without Wall Street, or your banks' involvement? No credit checks, no approvals, access to cash for anything you want. Did you know you can use life insurance policies to self-insure yourself for car insurance? No Geico, no Progressive, no Liberty Mutual. Furthermore, all of the states allow you to self-insure. Look at the parts of your life that are not ideal. How can you create a solution around it? When we think there's nothing we can do about a situation, it's more likely that we're unaware of a solution that already exists.
DON'T create limits on your thoughts. Your "ridiculous" thought could be a breakthrough solution that people need.
When I was 7 years old, I was walking watching TV when I began talking describing the idea of TIVO and Netflix. Pausing TV, recording TV, being able to watch the shows we want, whenever we want, without scheduled program times. Understand, this was years before TIVO or Netflix was a thing. At the time, my environment wasn't conducive to acting on this idea, so I dismissed my idea as a ridiculous dream. Fast forward some years and TIVO and Netflix came out and solved a need people didn't know they had. If it takes the same amount of energy to think big and small, why not think big? You may have an idea that could change the face of this planet. Don't be like the masses and die with your idea. I was once told, the graveyard is the richest place on Earth because it's here you'll find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled. Don't be that tree that only grew ten feet tall. Your mind has unlimited real estate, grow as tall as you can.
Leave your EGO at the door. Envision crazy solutions and ridiculous ideas. Your crazy ideas often lead to practical solutions.
Do you know the most dangerous 3 words on the planet? I know that
When you were in school, you were expected to know the materials for the tests. The more you knew, the better your grades, and the better your grades the smarter you are. So the story goes... It's dangerous how many people operate today with a mentality that they already know. Many people think when they graduated college they did all of the learning they needed to do, for the rest of their lives. Those are the same people who are closed off to any solutions that don't fit into their narrow-model of the world. We see this in people who try to finish our sentences, who interrupt us, and who make assumptions. These people are in every level of financial success in life as well. For example, Blockbuster knew best right? Who's this little upstart called Netflix? Don't they know, we're Blockbuster! EGO was permeating throughout that culture. Blockbuster didn't want to innovate, they missed the boat, they got caught up in drama competing with Netflix, took on too much debt and sank. The funny thing is, Blockbuster had the on-demand infrastructure to compete with Netflix, but they did themselves in with their EGO. Meanwhile, Netflix was envisioning crazy solutions and ridiculous ideas (for the time). That "crazy" Netflix idea lead to practical solutions for millions; an entertainment powerhouse. While Blockbuster now survives as a minor add-on to Dish Network; which I'm sure most people didn't know anyways. What ideas have you had that people have said "That's ridiculous!" or "Be realistic!"? Or, what ideas have you shot down because you told yourself or other people "I already know that!"
Remember: How do you know if you know something? You live it. Even when you live it, you still don't know everything about it. There's always room for growth, always room for opportunity. Steve Jobs said, "The ones that are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones that do."
Take-up drawing. Drawing uses different parts of your brain that cause you to think differently.
One of the most important classes I took in business school was an art class. The art class taught patience, attention to detail, it engaged mirror neurons, and most importantly it made us aware of our environment. This art class taught me the importance of slowing down and observing our surroundings for what they are. I believe that getting close to the truth of any matter means observing nature for clues. For example, when you think about building your health, your wealth, your relationships, your business, your mindset, or your spirituality, do they come instantly? Think of each of these areas as a seed and yourself as the soil. If we went outside and planted any seed on the planet, would it instantly grow? No. It compounds over time, with nurturing, persistence, and consistency. Acting by nature, it's important to accept that growth takes time. The things that come quickly act against natures' design and often leave as quickly. However, many people still chase that instant gratification; those people want the reward without putting in the time and energy it takes to earn it. Why do they want it so quickly? If the time is going to pass anyway why not direct as much of that time towards building something unbreakable? Next time you're drawing, slow down and appreciate that each stroke of a pencil is a small stroke of progress; and those small strokes over time create masterpieces. Similar to your life, the smallest strokes of action each day, over time, create the whole masterpiece that is your life.
Creativity manifests from individual brainstorming, group brainstorming, and drawing.
Not all group brainstorming sessions are created equally. Set up properly, a group brainstorming session can provide huge doses of innovative ideas. However, group brainstorming sessions are also at risk of "group think." Have you ever been in a group where one or two people seem to take over the entire group? It makes other group members not want to contribute, it makes them want to go along with the ideas and not speak up, for lack of confidence in their ideas. Ideas and innovation die when group members don't feel like they're equal members whose thoughts are valued.
Then, there's the democracy of many groups. Just because a group of people votes collectively on ideas, doesn't make those ideas true, correct, or the best solution. Some group members may vote for it just so they're not singled out or made to look like they're not part of the group. Group brainstorming tends to manifest itself in environments that feel free and loose; think of a group of people that happen to strike up a conversation randomly in the office. These environments work because nobody feels judged, pressured, or overpowered by other members of the group. It's just a conversation, an exchange of ideas. Contrast this with a formal group brainstorming session in a board room. Not to say this environment can't work, but it can be rigid, structured, and stifling to innovation. Especially, if the group has too many "chiefs."
When you have ideas that the group agrees are solid, instead of a democracy, try a meritocracy. Try taking the most believable people in the room and having them decide which idea (s) they believe to be the closest to the truth. For example, let's say you were deciding on a medical course of action for an issue you were experiencing. Would you want to hold a group brainstorming session with a group of medical specialists or your immediate family? I hope you chose the medical specialists. Now, within this group of medical specialists, let's say they come up with 3 innovative solutions for your condition that they believe to be true. How do you choose among the 3 solutions? Bring the 3 solutions to a separate group of the most experienced and tenured specialists in that field. Have them choose a solution that they believe to be true. In this way, a solution has been brainstormed and believed to be the truth. Then, the most believable people in the field also believe it to be true. This means you benefit from a higher probability of the proposed solution benefiting your condition.
Life has ups and life has downs. When you have true friendships, the ups are more meaningful and the downs are less devastating.
When an up or a down crosses our path in life, don't we always want to share it? I have a true friend, a friend that made the downs less devastating and shares all the benefits of my ups today. This friend is worth more than all the friends I could count on my fingers and toes. True friendship is being more interested than interesting. True friendship is doing things for someone else without expecting in return. True friendship is being the first familiar face you see when you need a ride from the airport, or the last familiar face you see before shipping off in the military. It's the friend whose number you memorized, the one you have an endless catalog of memories with, and the one who could NOT see you for years and pick right up where you left off. I have a true friendship. For the rest of my life, it's the only friend I will ever need. This true friendship saved my life.
You create your life. Happiness comes from creating a life that makes you feel that you're living well.
People with poor mindsets believe "life happens to me." People with a wealthy mindset believe that they create their life; that their life is a result of their decisions. The difference between these mindsets can be seen when a person chooses to blame, justify their actions, or complain. When we look at our life, we created it. Are you happy with the life you've created? Do you feel as though you're living well? If not, create a different life for yourself. Only you can choose to create a new narrative for your story. It's not up to the government, a job, or anything external. My wife and I created our life in Hawaii, we manifested the palm trees around us, the ocean, the warm weather, our community, the view of the mountains, EVERYTHING.
Anyone can create their life the way they want. Let me tell you a short story about how we got here... My wife and I were originally stationed in Colorado Springs for the US Army when I came down on orders to the Middle East. I mentally and physically prepared myself for the possibility of killing or being killed, when 3 days before our deployment date I turned blue and passed out. 3 days before. To put this into perspective I spent almost a year getting all of my affairs in order, training hard, learning a new language, and at a moment's notice, I dropped to the ground. As it turned out, I developed a heart condition that made me non-deployable and facing medical separation. Now, I was facing a series of new questions such as where will we live? What will my new mission in life be? How will I meet our debts of almost $50,000? At that time, I decided to go against everything my mind and body was telling me and take the biggest risk of our life. I told my wife, "We have 3 months before I'm separated, we're moving to Hawaii." We moved to Oahu with no work lined up, no cars, no friends, no home, and 4 maxed-out credit cards. I maxed out our last credit card to purchase a Groupon for 8 days in a hotel in Waikiki. Can you imagine having 8 days in a hotel, on an island, to figure out your entire life? It doesn't end there, at the end of my contract with the Army, they paid for all of our moving expenses for our things. That sounds like a great deal right? It was, until the Army ships all of your things to an island and gives you 4 months of free storage before you have to pay. We were stuck, no money, and everything we own on an island. We couldn't leave even if someone paid for our tickets (they didn't and never would) and we had 8 days in a hotel, which (as we learned) does not count as a valid address for employment. We burned every bridge and had no choice but to succeed.
I'm not discounting the struggles in your life or the successes you've experienced. The point of this story was to simply illustrate that we created our life in every decision we made. Looking back, it was the best experience we have ever gone through. Imagine every time you step through the fire, you know that next time you step through the fire, it will take even more heat to stop you. Create a life that makes you feel fulfilled because we only have this life and this chance.
We learn from positive reinforcement. The benefits of positive reinforcement are two-fold: Building good habits and creating extra energy to fuel additional achievements. Success breeds more success.
Do you enjoy doing things that don't make you feel good? Me either. When we feel good we crave more of those good feelings. Positive reinforcement is so strong because we're building habits around what makes us feel good. Success breeds success because that feeling of growth and progression releases dopamine; we feel that we matter. As of this writing my wife and I have loaned money to over 1100 people in 42 of the 50 states in the US Now, as nice as it is to see passive income, what we talk about the most is the purposes for these loans (Debt consolidations, home improvements, adoptions, healthcare expenses, etc...). The positive reinforcement doesn't come from the loan payments, it comes from knowing that person got what they wanted because of me. Amazing! It makes a person think: if I can help 1000 people, what will it feel like to help 4000? 5000? 10,000? This is where that extra energy comes from to fuel additional achievements; success breeding more success. Contrast this with negative reinforcement where a person is made to feel if they don't do X they'll be fired, or if they don't get the high grade they're stupid.
Take children, we always have the choice to praise everything they do or discipline them. We can choose positive reinforcement by rewarding them for NOT taking undesirable actions. Instead, children often get punishment when they take that action. Negative reinforcement uses fear and positive reinforcement uses praise. Praise yourself when you take positive action, praise everyone when they take positive action. Build a good habit of praising yourself, praising people, and praising their intentions.
How can you be sure you are progressing? Write down how you've progressed every day from the person you were yesterday.
What have you done today that pushed you forward from the person you were yesterday? It's easy to feel like progress isn't coming as quickly as we want, especially when we have a goal that takes a long time. Instant gratification is everywhere because of technology! So, keeping your daily progress in a journal connects your past self with your present self. Looking back on my notes, my goal used to be getting out of thousands of dollars in bad debt. It's funny to remember myself at that time because it felt like it would never happen. Fast forward to today, I get excited about getting into good debt for investments. Good debt and bad debt meant nothing to my past self because he thought "debt is debt."
Another example is this entry I wrote years ago about how it would feel to have $10,000. The way I spoke, you would have thought I was talking about a billion dollars. My mindset at that time was that $10,000 would make me feel rich; Jeff Bezos rich. Then, as you achieve a goal, the inevitable question becomes, what's next?
Remember: The passion is in the progress towards the goal, not the achievement.
One day, I'll look back at these notes and laugh because of my small goal to have $10 million. I'll probably remember that I thought I was thinking big but the goal will feel small. Measure your progress this way and you'll realize you're growing more than you realized every day.
Don't rely on your mind because you may be working with distorted information. You can be objective when you write.
Human beings are emotional creatures. Without writing, it's difficult to reconnect with our rational side and make objective decisions. Have you ever felt heated about something or someone? Your mind projects how the scenario will play out and it's usually a negative outcome that never happens. I made this mistake last year with an investment... It cost a year of time, taxes, and lost opportunity.
Check this out... last year I went through a lengthy process to secure some of our assets in a vehicle that would provide tax benefits, liquidity, cash flow, and solid growth. My team and I worked on this deal for several weeks and at the last step, I started googling more information about the investment. BIG mistake. No matter how good something is, there will always be opposition. My mistake was that I trusted some people on an internet forum, instead of my wealth team. I became heated after reading those forums because I thought I was lied to, I thought my team was out to use me, and I thought I knew better. The opportunity cost was a year, thousands in taxes, and thousands more in lost investment profit. Will those people on the forums personally insure my losses due to their bad advice? Never. This is why relying on your mind can cause you to work with distorted information. The information becomes distorted by emotions.
Write to yourself when you're calm, collected, and balanced. Re-visit your writing when you feel emotional and let your past-self help your present self make the right decision.
4 Important Motivators: 1st is recognition from your peers. 2nd is recognition from experts. 3rd is recognition from family. 4th is sharing your wealth and wisdom with everyone.
Did you notice that money's not one of the motivators? It's a common belief (myth) that money's a great motivator; some people believe that they'd be more motivated if they made more money. However, motivation is people-centric. Honestly, who doesn't want to be noticed, acknowledged, and validated by their peers? Also, who doesn't want to feel that they're contributing to something beyond themselves?
So, I have a friend whom I've wanted to invest with me for several years. This friend has never expressed interest in investing; let alone investing with me. A month ago, he unexpectedly reached out to me, said he wants to own some stocks and asked me some questions. This feeling was cool because he could have talked to anyone, but he connected with me and I felt that recognition from a peer. It motivated me so much, I shared access to a piece of $5000 stock investing software.
Second, is recognition from experts. Have you ever had an expert validate something you said or did? The first time I experienced this was in 2017, in Colorado Springs. My wife and I were attending an intimate Network Marketing gathering (probably 10 people) when Real Estate legend Robert Allen walked in. He began speaking about entrepreneurship and 5 minutes in, stopped suddenly, locked eyes with me, and said, "When I look in your eyes, I can tell you want this more than anyone I've ever seen." Wow... that blew me out of my seat. It was a double shot of recognition because our peers in the room watched the most successful expert in the room stop everything to recognize me. What recognition have you received from experts? And how did it feel?
Third, is recognition from family. This one can be tough because success often comes from a mindset and a series of actions that are foreign to most people. What's the average mindset? Go to _____ and get a good _____ with good health, dental, and life _____ max out your employer _____ save your money and buy a _____. For the majority of people, they can easily fill in those words. However, how many people question this traditional advice? College costs are rising faster than working wages, Healthcare in the US is some of the most expensive in the world, If an employer is willing to match your 401(k) why won't they just give you the extra money? Why do 401(k)'s charge fees even when the market is dropping and portfolios aren't performing? Why save money when savings interest rates at banks are almost 0% and inflation is usually around 2% for a phantom loss in buying power of -2%? Why buy a personal home when it's a liability and nobody owns their home? If you think you own your home, stop paying property taxes and you'll find out who owns it. The point is that family members can provide well-meaning but misguided advice, and they may not understand that this advice is not the path to wealth or financial freedom. If you want wealth, model what the wealthy are already doing. For example, did you know that companies such as Walmart take out cash-value whole life insurance policies on all of their employees? Walmart receives tax breaks for this and if an employee dies at work, Walmart makes money. Another example is the banks. What does a bank do with your money when you save it? They pay almost a 0% interest rate to you and lend it out to other people for double-digit percentages (including you). The banks will loan you back, your own money in your savings account and charge you interest for it. Or, a 401(k) for example, the individual takes all of the risks, puts up all of the money, pays all of the taxes, and no matter how good or bad the market does, the fund manager and the mutual fund company charge fees and make money. The mutual fund company takes no risk, puts up no money, pays no taxes on the buying and selling of securities, but gets paid.
What I want you to take away from this is that you can take these same actions as the wealthiest institutions on the planet and get paid the way they do. However, the actions you'll take are polar-opposite of traditional advice. For this reason, you may seem like a lunatic to family members. Recognition from family members is nice, but we can't expect it or position our lives around trying to gain recognition from our loved ones. Look at your family members, if they live the kind of life you want to live, model them and you'll get recognition. If you don't want to live the life your family members live, you may need to set that recognition aside and follow a path that goes against the grain.
Finally, sharing your accumulated wealth and wisdom with everyone is EXTREMELY motivating. When you achieve something that other people want to achieve and you can show them how you got there, you'll overflow with fulfillment. This is when people begin coming to you for advice, tips, and show a genuine interest in you. They see you as an authority whom they trust. At this stage, it's all about reciprocity. You're paying it forward with your wisdom; receiving motivation and fulfillment in return.
Motivation leads to success and other people are key to that motivation leading to success.
First, I want to acknowledge that you need to be your greatest source of motivation. Every day won't be filled with people beating down your door to motivate you. When it's said that "other people are the key to motivation that leads to success" it means that your motivation will come from your service to others and the recognition you receive from serving others. When we do things for others first, it tends to motivate others to do more for us. The best way I know to get the recognition that leads to motivation is to serve people with so much heart they can't help but recognize you. More than that, when you see other people are succeeding because of you; and you start succeeding because of them, it creates a virtuous circle that will motivate you to achieve more.
When we first came to Hawaii, as mentioned, we were broke. So, I began working with a property management company in Honolulu. They put me in a position where I worked with Real Estate agents to provide legal documents for homes that were part of a Homeowner's Association (HOA). When I first came on the scene this position received the highest level of complaints in the office because of the time it took to compile hundreds of pages of HOA documents and a lack of customer service (there was only one person assigned to this role). The first few months were inconvenient because I learned how to do this job from the person who had a high customer complaint ratio; so, I inherited the complaints. Around the 6th month of this job, I came into the office and made a radical decision that changed the course of everything. What I decided, was that I was not going to answer the phone for any real estate agents anymore. That morning I recorded a new voicemail that said,
"Thank you for calling [Company Name] If this is urgent please leave a voicemail. Otherwise, email me at [Work Email], once again that's [Work Email] with your document case number. This is to maximize the efficiency and effectiveness of your documents. Thank you and have a wonderful day!"
What this voicemail did over the course of the next 30 days was to train our customers to communicate through email, instead of spending 30-60 minutes on the phone per customer. The benefit to me was that all of the correspondence was channeled through Email. Can you imagine how much easier it is to solve the challenges of 20 emails, as opposed to 20 phone calls? Not answering the phones freed my time to complete their document requests and block out a specific time to answer emails every day. All that I had to do to serve the customers was demonstrate (through Email) that I was responsive and could get the customer what they needed. Also, as the business grew, Email scales MUCH better than a phone. it's funny to look back on because of customer service 101 emphasizes the phone, the phone, the phone. However, by the end of my time with this company, I hadn't answered an inbound phone call in 1 year, processes that were taking weeks now took hours, and I set the company record for 5-star customer service reviews, received bonuses and even acknowledgment from the company president; all without speaking to any customers on the phone.
The Lessons: People want what they want in the quickest way possible. You'll receive recognition from others when you make them successful first. When you receive recognition from others, it motivates you to do more of what got you the recognition.
Write a list of reasons that success is your only option. Also, write what you will NEVER accept in your life.
Your success will always come from a deeper "Why." This might be your family, children, living environment, past, friends, etc... Here's a great exercise to discover your "Why." This exercise is called 7-levels deep. Have you heard of it? You'll ask yourself exactly 7 why questions, with one building upon the next. Your answers will form the next why question. For example:
Why question 1. Why do you want to get stronger? I want to get stronger because I was bullied as a child.
Why question 2. Why were you bullied as a child? Because I didn't stand up for myself.
Why question 3. Why didn't you stand up for yourself? Because I was scared.
Can you see how the 7 why questions flow? Try this for yourself, and remember to answer exactly 7 why questions; one building on the next.
- Why is success your only option? [Answer]
- Why? [Answer]
- Why? [Answer]
- Why? [Answer]
- Why? [Answer]
- Why? [Answer]
- Why? [Answer]
Now that you deeply understand WHY success is your only option, make a list of reasons you must do [whatever you answered for Why question 7]
Happiness comes from our contributions to others, reaching our goals, and the love we receive from others. The objective is a life of balance.
Everything has an opportunity cost. Too much of one thing will throw other things out of balance. What goal(s) can you set that will contribute to others and get them what they want? In Colorado Springs there's a beautiful campus called the Springs Rescue Mission which serves the homeless community. What makes this campus incredible is that it doesn't just serve a meal and send people on their way. The springs rescue mission lives by a principle that I adopted and want to share with you.
Empower people, don't enable them.
Empowering and enabling are both ways for a person to contribute and happiness comes from both of them. However, the outcome for the contributed is vastly different. The difference between empowering and enabling is responsibility. The Springs Rescue Mission Empowers people to take action and earn everything they want. Clients complete a rigorous program in independence; learning skills to become productive in the community. This program fosters a sense of strength, confidence, and self-esteem that many clients have never experienced. What if these people were enabled? Instead of taking self-responsibility and producing results, they had it handed to them. Working in the homeless community, you see plenty of enabling. The enabled are the people who are happy to take a free meal and contribute nothing in return. These people receive value and contribute nothing in return. This line of thinking is deadly and it's not only in the homeless community. We can see evidence of this when we look at millions of social security & food stamp recipients who receive benefits they don't need.
When you contribute to others, empower them, don't enable them. You'll reach your goals in proportion to the people you empower to reach their goals. You'll also receive more love empowering people than enabling them. This is because enabling creates a sense of entitlement; people who are enabled get expectations. Finally, our life of balance comes from controlling the time we devote to an activity and how present we are in that activity.
Try this: It's called chunking. Chunking takes a large project and breaks its completion down into micro-pieces. This works for anything. Ask yourself this, What small thing can I do today to move forward with this [project]? Imagine we wanted to get in shape, we can do one pushup a day. That's 7 more pushups than we were doing per week. Think small and build the habit. The habit is most important. Then, build your day around those small habits. It will make it easier to balance your day than if you were trying to balance very large actions every day.
Imagine setting a goal to do 200 pushups a day, read 5 chapters of a book, and learn to cook 3 new recipes (breakfast, lunch, and dinner). Besides the huge time commitment, the opportunity cost in time is also increased.
Now, imagine instead you did 10 pushups per day, read a page of a book, and cooked 1 new recipe per day. You've progressed and you'll be more present every day. Most importantly, you've balanced your time effectively; which gives you more time to be present with the people you love. Chunk everything.
Your inner-circle needs to be comprised of people on the way up that would take you in on the way down.
We're the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Would the people in your life take you in if you were spiraling down? My childhood was filled with negative characters; characters who wanted to bring people down on the way up. Some of the hardest decisions I've had to make involve cutting family out of my life. Are you hanging onto toxic people? There's no excuse to keep those people in our life when they don't support our dreams. My mistakes were keeping toxic friends around just because I'd know them for a long time and I was also guilty of keeping family around just because they're family. Guess what? Keeping them around was the source of problems. You'll notice when you become selective of your inner-circle, that people will disappear from your life, you'll outgrow some, and others won't want to be around you because you desire to grow. Your growth threatens these people's desire not to grow. Also, getting rid of toxic people makes room for the new people who will find their way into your life. The people you want in your life won't accept toxicity in their life and they won't accept you if you keep toxicity in your life. Successful people are guarded about what enters their inner-circle, you should be as well.
Remember: You will be the average of the people in your life. If the average is millionaires, then you'll likely be the next. However, if the average is drug-addicts, you'll also likely be the next.
Whatever your average is now, who can you replace to get that average up? I understand it's extremely hard, but it's worth it. Your life is worth it.
Whenever you tip or donate, always contribute the extra amount. The extra contribution buys you an amazing feeling of motivation.
Have you ever tipped above normal? My personal favorite is tipping 100% at a restaurant. Restaurants are a fantastic way to build a relationship with your servers and practice appreciation. Servers never receive as much appreciation as they deserve. Think about this, servers are usually serving several tables at the same time, with multiple personalities, all while satisfying what people request. But, what about the server? What do they want? Who are they? Get to know the people that serve you and you'll get a wonderful feeling of motivation. That motivation will come from really knowing the person you're paying. When you get to know the people that serve you it's no longer just a transaction, it's a relationship. This goes for anyone that provides you any service; not just servers in restaurants.
Realize: Every time you exchange money for any goods or service, you've hired other people. They're your employees. Think of yourself as your own business, would you treat your friends, co-workers, or employees the way you treat the people that serve you?
Treat everyone who serves you as a valued employee and pay them well. Take care of your people and they'll remember and take care of you. Your reward is the motivation you get from taking care of others.
Here on Oahu, we have a restaurant called Roy's that's very well known for its exceptional food and service. However, it's located in high-tourist areas where locals are less common. I'll never forget the first time we dined at Roy's because we had a great server named Syn. My wife and I love getting to know the people that serve us, so we learned about Syn's family, children, work schedule, favorite meals at Roy's, etc... We had an incredible dining experience and tipped very generously. Here's the crazy part, close to 6 months after this dinner, we were grocery shopping at a Target near our home when we were approached. It was Syn, his wife, and his children. Syn remembered us as though we saw him yesterday, admittedly, it had been so long I couldn't remember where I had seen him in the past. Syn remembered our names and spoke with us for 10 minutes. Do you see the power of giving more? Syn works in one of the most touristy restaurants on Oahu, 6 days a week, a span of almost 6 months passed since seeing us, we weren't in his place of work, and he spotted us across Target.
Give generously with your time, your money, and your interest. The relationships you'll build are worth far more than the cost.
The happiness you're searching for in the future is found in the present.
Too often we fall into the thought trap that "I just need to become X person and then I'll be happy." We compare our present selves to our future selves and feel unhappy because we're not living up to this imagined person. The big secret is that we don't need to become that future version of ourselves to be happy. We need to be happy with ourselves to become that future person. Can you see the distinction? All of our happiness is found by being a happy person in the present.
What can you be happy about right now? If you ever want to make an excuse, make an excuse to be happy as often as you can. I want to teach you a mindset that changed my perspective on happiness, it goes like this:
Nothing has any meaning, except for the meaning we assign it.
Let's think about this, nothing in life is good or bad, it's only the label we give to the event. People label death as the worst event that'll ever occur. Is it? Only if we say it is. I've told my wife when I pass away I want it to be a celebration of life (mine and others). Let it be a beautiful reminder to the people living, TO LIVE! Also, let it be a reminder that none of us are strangers, because life and death are events we all share. It's incredible to have goals, to envision that perfect future self, but use that future self as a person to work towards becoming, not a comparison to who you are now.
Once you set your goals for the future, set your focus on being present in the present. Every day's a new day you've been blessed with; fill it with those people, thoughts, and activities that make your heart smile. Since it's always your choice, choose to find happiness in everything.
Your motivation will come from a balance of active achievement with taking time to stop and appreciate what you've achieved.
We've talked a lot about motivation because life doesn't happen to you. You control your life, which includes your motivation. This last point affects highly-motivated people because it causes burn-out and dissatisfaction. Let me illustrate it this way... Imagine a giant backyard with a fence at the front of the house and the back of the yard. You and 4 of your friends are getting ready to race to the back of the yard. On your mark, get set, GO! The 4 of you push all of your strength into your legs and swing your arms ferociously to be the first person to reach that back fence.
You win! But, did you notice the color or scent of the flowers you ran past? How about that bird's nest in the tree? The soft feeling of the grass under your feet? No. You didn't notice because all you were focused on was the fence in the back of the yard. And, once you got to that fence, you completed the goal. However, did you take time to consciously appreciate what you just did? Or, was it on to the next thing?
Human beings are hard-wired to achieve. We want to move, we want to do, we want to be active. However, the activity is only half of the equation. When we're running towards a goal, it's equally important to walk once we achieve it. Walking involves slowing down, absorbing our surroundings; the scent of the flowers, the bird's nest, the feeling of the grass, and appreciating what we achieved. Allow yourself to celebrate what you accomplished. We don't need to run to a goal, achieve it, and run to the next goal.
After a great jog, don't we walk it off? Don't we cool down and enjoy the high of running? Don't we become very present with ourselves and how we feel? We don't waste that high of running by deciding we're going to start sprinting until we throw-up.
Although, all too often in life, we sprint until we throw-up. Don't we? Think of your active achievements as running, and your time to appreciate as walking; one cannot exist without the other if you wish to achieve balance in your life.
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